That random journal by that random girl

TEN EMOTIONS.
1. Are you missing someone right now? Yeah...
2. Are you happy? Right this second? Not really.
3. Are you talking to anyone right now? Over AIM, yeah.
4. Are you bored? Nope.
5. Are you German? No.
6. Are you Irish? No?
7. Are you French? Are these codewords for something?
8. Are you Italian? No...
9. Are your parents still married? Yep, pretty happily.
10. Do you like someone right now? Hard to say. I'd give you a straight answer, but I don't have one.

TEN FAVORITES.
1. Store: Meijer
2. Flower: Rose
3. Color: Blue
4. Fav sport: Fencing!
5. Mall: Providence Place. No, wait, the old Mall of America.
6. Music: Lots!
7. Food: Do I really have to choose...? Bah... Filet Mignon, made the way I had it at The Woodstock Inn.
9. Animal: Dang, that's a lot to choose from. Um.. for kicks, the Eurasian Eagle Owl. Or maybe the Screech Owl.
10. State: California

TEN FACTS.
1. Hometown: Not applicable.
2. Hair color: varied brown.
3. Age: 20
4. Hair style: medium long, sometimes pony-tailed or braided
5. Eye color: hazel-ish.
6. Closest friend: probably Avery right now. It varies on where I live and who's around.
7. Mood: Eh. I'm all right.
8. Skin color: red-patterned yellowish white. I have skin issues.
9. Available: More or less.
10. Lefty/righty: Rightly, although I golf leftie. Thanks, Dad.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
1. Have you ever been in love? Depends how you define love.
2. Do you believe in love? I think so.
3. Why did your last relationship fail: Combination of frustration and failure to communicate on my part. Stupid, stupid thing to do.
4. Have you ever been heartbroken: Depends how you define it. I'd say yes, by my dictionary's definition.
5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Possibly... Don't know for sure. -_-
6. Have you ever fallen for one of your best friends: Not really. My boyfriend tends to quickly become one of my best friends, though.
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them: Yep. It was probably for the better.
9. Has someone ever kissed your hand: Yes.
10. Have you ever had a secret admirer: Someone who actually went out of their way to do that kind of thing? No. Someone who obviously liked me but couldn't work up the nerve? Yes.

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. Love or trust: Trust. Can't love without it.
2. Hard liquor or beer: hard liquor, I guess. Beer is worthless to me. I'm no fan of hard liquor either, though.
3. Night or day: day. Though it blinds my eyes, the sunshine and blue sky is beautiful.
4. One night stands or relationships: relationships. Geez.
5. Television or internet: internet, definitely.
6. Pepsi or coke? Coke, but I almost never drink pop.
7. Wild night out or romantic night in: Romantic night in.
9. Phone or in person: in person. I hate calling people on the phone. It's awkward.
10. Msn or aim: AIM.

TEN HAVE Y0U EVER.
1. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? Um... nope.
2. Have you ever skinny dipped: No one should have to see that. No.
3. Have you ever done something you regret? Hasn't everyone?
6. Have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: Yes? Is this hard? They're usually pretty small.
7. Have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt? Yep.
8. Have you ever been in a fist fight? yes. I don't recommend it, especially if you don't know how to fight.
9. Have you ever danced in the rain? yes, but not for long. I've never felt warm rain.
10. Have you ever had a hang over? Nope. Headaches that I think would rival it, definitely. But no hangovers.

For some reason, watching "Chuck" made me thoughtful. I almost always try to understand and refine myself in daily life, but recently I've been putting more effort into it, pending my diagnosis by Renee with some kind of learning disorder (I think).

It occurred to me while I was brushing my teeth after the episode that it is given to me to fight. I don't take things lying down often. When I was bullied, I fought back. The action was pointless, did nothing but keep my spirit from breaking and get me beaten up more, but I still fought. I fought because I saw nothing else to do. Because I would not knuckle under to the unfairness.

I inherited stubbornness from both sides of the family. My dad is more obviously stubborn, but my mom has a streak to match it, if you push her enough. Yet fighting and being stubborn is not always the right path.

God grants me the wisdom sometimes to look around, to see when I shouldn't be so aggressive. Some people are put off by such intensity on things that don't matter so much.

But in everyday life, it's a tricky thing. I'm reminded of a Harper motto I read in a book several years ago: In all things, there must be a balance.

Always keeping that in mind, I am glad I have the option to fight.